Tag Archives: Humor

Thumping Cans

imagesRecently, I overheard some elderly men in conversation.

One old codger said, “Me and the wife, we always held with ‘spare the rod, spoil the child.’ None of this newfangled time-out stuff for us. No sir, we spanked our kids when they needed it. But this one time when my boy was six, that’d be forty years ago now, we were in Meier’s doing some grocery shopping. I was walking along the canned goods aisle, and my wife and son were behind me. I kept hearing the thump, thump, thump of my boy flicking the cans as he walked along, so I turned around and told him if I heard one more thump I was gonna spank him right then and there.

“No sooner had I started down the aisle again than I heard a thump, thump, thump behind me. I whirled around, snatched hold of the child, and gave him a good hard smack on the bottom.” The codger shook his head and chuckled. “About then I looked down and realized the boy rubbing his sore bottom wasn’t my son at all. Nor was the woman standing slack-jawed beside him my wife. I was flabbergasted, let me tell you. Pretty quick, I spotted my wife and son at the far end of the aisle shopping for soup.

“Well, now, I couldn’t let on that I’d spanked that child by accident. So I shook my finger in his face, said, ‘Let that be a lesson to you,’ and high-tailed it from the store before his momma could recover enough to holler for security.”

The other men razzed the codger for swatting somebody else’s son, but the man just smiled. “Well now, you can say what you like about spanking, but I can just about guarantee you that boy never thumped another can in his life.”