Over the past 19 years as a pastor’s wife, I’ve learned some things…and made quite a few mistakes. Though I’m far from an expert, I plan to give a new tip each month for the rookie pastor’s wife, advice I hope will help her make fewer mistakes than I’ve made.
BE CLEAR ON YOUR PRIORITIES.
One of the questions you’re sure to get when your husband interviews for a ministry position is, “Mrs. Potential Pastor’s Wife, if we hire your husband, what would your role be in the church?”
Gulp. If you’re a people-pleaser and/or if you really want your husband to get the job, you’ll be tempted to say, “I’ll do whatever the church needs—play piano, keep nursery, teach Sunday School, direct VBS, clean toilets, answer phones, AND do any other job nobody else wants.”
DON’T SAY IT!
Remember, the church is potentially hiring your husband, not you. You are not the freebie in a BOGO sale.
To prepare for this question, you and your husband should clarify your gifts and priorities (preferably on paper) before the interview. Then take the written list to the interview, just to make sure you don’t misspeak when answering those dozen strangers you hope will call your husband as their pastor.
Your list should look something like this:
- My role is to be a helpmeet to my husband.
- My role is to mother my children, thereby freeing my husband to do his job.
- My role is to do my work well (whether employed outside the home or not).
- God has gifted me in the area of ___________ (YOU fill in the blank).
- After 6 months or so to get settled, I will prayerfully consider which church tasks best fit my time and abilities.
Trust me, if the church does call your husband, being clear on your priorities will make the transition into your new role as pastor’s wife so much easier!